I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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