I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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