Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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