He kissed a someone with a penis
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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