Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just forgot I was standing up.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
