I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
