she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
