the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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