she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
