Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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