i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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