I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
