the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
