How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
if only i could text you this smell
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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