I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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