Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
