bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
