so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
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looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
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Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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