You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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