i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize