he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
