I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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