Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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