you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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