How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
