the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
