Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
