he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
