Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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