whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hippo gnu deer
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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