batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
