I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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