If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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