I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
