Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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