I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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