we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
