Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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