dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm passing your future prison.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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