Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
