He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
