Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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