Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
