i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
