guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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