Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
