Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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