I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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