This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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