Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
