Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize