My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
