If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
