garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
