im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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