Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
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I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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