I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
