the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
