the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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