I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
